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Published October 23, 2018

According to a recent live poll conducted during the last month via multiplayer lobbies in Call of Duty: WW II, a minority of gamers in 2017 prefer playing games alone compared to online with friends, while over three times as many would instead like to fuck your mother. Players were polled during competitive matches of Free-For-All and Team Deathmatch in Ghosts as well as during loadout lobbies where respondents were most vocal about their gaming habits such as only playing online if they can “party up with [their] clan” and “being too busy getting [their] knob polished by your mom you fat fuck.” Another near-entire lobby of players agreed it’s annoying to play with “squeaky-voiced fucktards” like lobby member XxTitanScopezxX and recommended he put the game under his bed until his balls drop.

When asked what their most anticipated multiplayer game of the year is, 15% said Battlefield: One and 23% said Call of Duty: WW II, two of the marquee titles releasing during the always busy holiday gaming season. An additional 33% responded by recommending you “take your mic off your fucking head and shove it up your fucking ass you fucking camper!”

The results reinforce those found within similar polls conducted in EA Sports’ catalog of games last fall that showed more players now prefer online leagues in games like Madden and FIFA compared to their offline counterparts by a 2-to-1 margin, 28% to 14%. Another 50% of Madden players demanded you “quit spamming the screen pass you little bitch! You’re trash! Straight trash!” Rockstar Games also surveyed their community and found most players prefer free-roaming rather than playing structured matches, and also that an overwhelming number of players are “faggoty-ass Passive Mode bitches”, according to an overwhelming number of other players.

The apparent conclusion, which publishers have been coming to for the past half decade, is multiplayer gaming is on the rise while single-player story modes are getting less attention. When asked if they want more online-only games like Respawn’s new Titanfall 2, three mic’d gamers suggested you “shut the fuck up you Xbox tryhard” while another respondent wrote in via Xbox Live text message and suggested you kill yourself.

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