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Published April 22, 2018

This Wednesday, Ubisoft held their semi-annual financial meeting with investors to discuss the end of fiscal year 2014-2015. Executives reported steady increases over FY2013-2014 which keeps in line with their Half 1 (H1) numbers. The company pointed to the strong sold-in numbers for Assassin’s Creed: Unity and Far Cry 4 during the holiday season and plans to unveil several new franchises with HUDs cluttered with unnecessary information.

Citing the success of their open-world titles from 2014, Ubi execs say their formulaic approach to mission variety is a driving force behind their strong showing. “For years we’ve been making gamers scale buildings over and over to unlock the map in Assassin’s Creed,” points out Director of Franchise Development Géraud Pachal,  “so when we found success with a similar mechanic in the recent Far Cry entries and now Watch_Dogs too, we really doubled down and committed to that mechanic.”

Pachal went on to say Ubisoft Montreal and Ubisoft Toronto are both working on new games featuring a “nearly limitless” supply of carbon copy side-missions and busy work in hopes of artificially inflating more game completion times. When asked if the Ubi Toronto game is the newSplinter Cell announced previously, Pachal spoke candidly. “Our Toronto team is still working hard on the latest Splinter Cell, yes. And we hope to bring the Ubisoft signature to that series too, but we’re also in the early stages of a brand new property that will revolutionize the cluttered HUD subgenre.”

Investors responded with equal parts hope and skepticism with one unnamed source saying, “Assassin’s Creed is the pinnacle of useless information sprawling across every corner of a game’s display. We saw a preview of what’s in store. I just hope they aren’t biting off more than they can chew.”
“XP tallies, weapons info, mission objectives, scrolling text, maps — which, of course, will be locked at the start — this one will have it all and even some distractions gamers have never seen before,” assured Pachal. He couldn’t say anything else just yet but teased gamers to watch for more info this summer. “We’re really approaching cable news channel-levels of sensory overload.”

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