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Published June 23, 2018

Since the re-launch of Final Fantasy XIV under the tagline “A Realm Reborn”, many players have begun questing in the vast open world of Eorzea along side family, friends and strangers alike. However, one Florida resident, Devon Aimes, who has recently achieved the status of “Level 50 Black Mage” is finding it difficult to re-acclimate to the harsh rigors of reality.  Devon, who requested he be referred to by his avatar name, “Spooge Wellington”, began playing A Realm Reborn late in December of 2014.

Since then, Spooge has undertaken various quests, engrossed himself in the rich lore, tackled various dungeons and has become utterly unable to escape the gripping clutch of Eorzea’s embrace. Spooge states, “It’s been different, lately — I never thought this could happen to me, you know? I stepped away from the game for the first time in days — to get some food and supplies — and when it hit me that I was trying to heat up my dinner by casting ‘Fire III’, I had to really take a good look at myself.”

Spooge’s mother, Alexandria Aimes, has been desperate to receive help for her son’s current condition. “My boy is in need of serious attention,” Alexandria says, “He keeps trying to move to places by casting ‘Aetherial Manipulation’. He threatened to ‘Scathe’ my flesh and he almost got hit by a car the other day while standing in the middle of the road screaming, ‘My Manawall protects me!’ This is too much. I just want my boy back.”

Currently, Spooge has begun weening himself off of the game, merely running 5 instances of Crystal Tower daily, as opposed to his usual 20. Spooge remains optimistic about his recovery however, saying, “Though I don’t need school anymore — the Thaumaturge guild has taught me everything I’ll ever need to know. I think that I’ll be able to quit the game for a while. Probably after I finish these next 15 F.A.T.E. quests.”

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