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Published May 26, 2018

Having just recently revamped much of their rewards card program, GameStop surprisingly announced another new change to their list of perks gamers receive with their PowerUp card. The base price of the Pro level card is $14.99 per year which includes a subscription to Game Informer magazine, bonus trade-in value, discounts on used games, and several other perks. But none of that is as exciting as their newest perk for card carriers — the ability to shut their employees the fuck up.

While this valuable new addition to the card requires you upgrade to the Elite level PowerUp card for an additional $15 annually, many gamers will surely find the price is worth it, according to a press release from the company.

“For years we’ve tormented customers with a torturous barrage of pre-order offers, scratch protection, surveys with fake prizes, and season pass upsells. They have, in turn, loathed our very existence. That’s why we are very pleased to announce today that newest tier of our PowerUp card, the Elite level, now includes the option to tell our employees to shut the fuck up and they have to oblige.”

According to the company it works like this: when you get to the register and they start making that company-mandated small talk to feign friendliness, before they dive into telling you all about games you already know about, at any point you feel most appropriate you simply have to look them in the eyes and, in words of your own choosing, tell them to stop. “Shut the fuck up”, “Please stop talking, I can’t take it anymore”, “I need you to know I don’t give a shit”, whatever you choose, the employee must follow your directions. It’s that simple. They’ll actually let you complete your purchase without another word spoken.

GameStop hopes this new program will rebuild the relationship with their consumer base. While used game sales have done very well to rob the people who worked tirelessly to create the games, the company says such robbery can only go so far without the record-setting sales numbers they used to have.
“I’m not ashamed to admit our numbers have fallen off slightly,” says company President Tony Bartel. “Things like the rise of digital game sales, a slow start to the new console generation, and our policy of sales first, humanity second have all contributed without a doubt. But we want to fix that, and it starts by letting our customers finally say what’s on their minds at the expense of our hourly employees’ morale.”

The news has attracted the eyes of other industries as well. At press time, Regal Cinemas has announced a similar program for moviegoers.

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